When I was younger, Good Friday or the Passion of the Lord, was just another ordinary day for me. The whole season of Lent did not have much impact on me even when I participated in Passion plays. For me, I was just going through the motion and following instructions for the play. I did not really understand what Jesus really went through and why He died for us.

As I started to serve in my parish, I wanted to help Catholics, like myself, to have a better understanding of this important season of the liturgical year. I know the Passion play can be very moving and touch the hearts of people. Using the opportunity of directing this year’s Passion play at the Church of the Transfiguration, my hope is to help those who are involved in the play and those who watch it to encounter Christ and experience His love in His passion.

A scene from the Passion play that Beverley is directing.

Prior to the preparation of the Passion play, I was in between jobs. I was sending resumes every day, attending interviews but there was no reply. I was really upset and felt so hopeless, especially when I was faced with the pressure and stress from the people around me. I cried out to God everyday asking Him to grant me a suitable job, in His time.

Since I was jobless, I spent most of my time in Church helping out in different ministries as well. As the preparation for the Passion play drew near, I started to hold back my job search so as to concentrate on the play and ministry work. Though I was not actively job searching, there was a sense of peace within me and I felt assured that God will see me through this phase of my life.

Early February, I accepted a job offer as a dance and music teacher. I was really happy and thankful to God as it was something I always wanted to do. I felt reassured, knowing that God knows what’s best for me and He will plan the path for me. He is always there to guide me through every step of my life, even at the lowest point, and I have to learn to trust in Him and surrender more of myself to Him.

I started my job at the same time as the preparation for the Passion play.

But He was there with me, and He sent people to help even at the eleventh hour. I knew deep in my heart that it was certainly not by chance that people came forward. God was seeing everything through.

I had a lot of struggles and fear preparing for the Passion play, as this was my first time writing a script and directing a play. I was really clueless about how I was going to do this. I started reading the Gospels and watching clips on the life of Jesus. I began to fast and pray more intentionally and intensely, drawing closer to God.

During the whole process, I faced many struggles such as casting adult actors, managing different requests and to rally people to be on board on this journey. But He was there with me, and He sent people to help even at the eleventh hour. I knew deep in my heart that it was certainly not by chance that people came forward. God was seeing everything through.

There were times when I felt unworthy and inadequate to take on this role. I felt like giving up. But Jesus was there with me. I would lay down everything at the foot of the Cross and ask Jesus to help me, help me to look at myself through His eyes of love. Through the rehearsals, I recognised that I have areas in my life where I am called to live more like Christ – to be more accepting and patient.

It was also tiring, having to juggle with work, directing the play and attend to ministry work. It was during times like these, that I would reflect on Jesus’ suffering and realised that Jesus is inviting me on this journey to bear my little crosses and to realise the areas where I am called to die to self.

Good Friday now has a deeper meaning for me, as I come to know and understand His deep and everlasting love for me, and how He suffered for the love of me.

Beverley Goh