Every week, we would gather know more about God. We would gather in small groups to share personal stories and bible verses that spoke to us.
God speaks to us in different ways and it was really interesting because each of us would have different words or parts of the bible passage that spoke to us.
I felt that it was always a safe space for me to share my opinions and how I was feeling while not being judged. It was something that I really appreciated. My sponsor and every member in the RCIY group was always very warm and encouraging. That was extremely important because there were days that I was really tired from school and training and just didn’t have any energy left. It was those moments of encouragement that kept me going during such times.
Is God real?
The retreat at the end of the year led me to the best experience of my life! One of the most memorable moments was the session when a group of people came to pray over us and it was said that we would experience the Holy Spirit. When it was my turn, while praying, God spoke through someone and said to LET GO and to LET HIM IN. I just broke down because strange enough, before that session, I was just sharing with my sponsor that I knew God and believed in him.
However, at the same time, I was doubtful of whether God is real and that it was a big commitment to make in deciding on whether I should get baptised. There was also an image of a boat in the middle of a vast ocean and it did not have a direction it was going. Making such a huge commitment meant that I should let go and let God be the driver in my life. I felt that God placed that image in my head to ask me to let him be the driver. Throughout the entire time, tears just kept flowing and I had a sudden feeling of guilt for all the doubts that I had. After that experience, I was certain in my decision in letting God be my driver and committing everything to him.
The journey in knowing God was not always smooth but it was always helpful to have friends in RCIY with similar thoughts and feelings.
RCIY community at Baptism
The Greater the Doubt, the Greater the Faith
As Archbishop shared in one of his Daily Scripture Reflection, “The greater the doubt, the greater the faith”. However, one thing that we must remember is that God always has a plan. Though your questions may not be answered now, it may take days, weeks, months or even years but it will be answered some other time.
Writing this story reminded me of when I had so many doubts about God. Is He real? If He is, why does He let poverty happen? Why does He let the innocent get killed during natural disasters? Why does He let me make wrong decisions which lead to unwanted consequences? Why does He let bad things happen to me?
The number of “whys” was never ending but God answered me during the prayer session at the retreat. Before baptism, I had a talk with Fr Jerome because he wanted to ensure that I was certain in my decision to get baptised. I questioned the “whys” that I mentioned earlier, and he said that it is actually very normal to have such doubts and question the reality of God. In fact, it is a good thing.
Herlene with her family
God is real and he speaks to everyone in different ways. If you wish to know more about God, you have to make an effort as well. For example, as simple as praying to God or reading the bible. It is a way of communicating with God.
Just like what His Grace shared, “It (our faith) gets stronger when there is constant communication between the two parties. When we stay away from the Lord, like Thomas, the love gets weaker and leads to misunderstanding due to the lack of trust.” Most importantly, it is only when we have an open mind to listen to others encounters with God and his amazing works that we will understand and realise it when we have our own personal encounters with God.
Do not be afraid, be open to accepting God and let him in.
Serving with the Good Shepherd Sisters